Pregnant Kara Keough Bosworth pays tribute to late son McCoy on what would have been first birthday

Kara Keough Bosworth penned an emotional tribute to her late son McCoy on what would have been his first birthday on Tuesday, April 6.

‘A year ago today, I screamed you into this world. I begged God to let me hear you scream back,’ began the 32-year-old actress on Instagram, as she recalled the devastating loss.

Kara’s post comes just days after she used the platform to joyously announce that she is expecting another child with husband Kyle Bosworth.

‘Instead, there was silence from you before the “Come on, McCoy” chants started, shattering my heart and completely deflating the euphoria that comes after birth,’ she continued. 

‘Earlier that night, I stroked my belly and asked you to come – told you I was ready for you, despite no signs that labor was approaching.

‘When I heard a rubber band snapping sound come from my belly, I excitedly jumped up, thinking it was my water breaking and feeling you’d make your way to us quickly.

‘By the time I realized I was actually in labor, you’d be born 3 hours later.’

Kara noted that on the night of her son’s birth, she ‘felt loved, supported, empowered’ and that ‘it was the most wonderful experience followed by the worst ending.’

She went on to recall the unimaginable six days that followed her son’s arrival, which saw the newborn fighting for his life and eventually succumbing to complications caused by ‘shoulder dystocia and a compressed umbilical cord.’

‘Over the next 6 days, I’d have to make a conscious effort to say “I love you” more than I said “I’m sorry.” Both are true, I am so sorry and I do love you so much,’ Bosworth wrote.

The daughter of RHOC original Jeana Keough dedicated one portion of her post to pondering about what ‘little boy McCoy would be’ if he had made it to his first birthday.

‘On your first birthday, I can’t help but think of the little boy you’d be today. Would you be walking yet? Saying “Mama?” What would your favorite food be? Are you a snuggler or Mr Independent? Maybe both? How many teeth would you have? Who would you be today if our story went a little differently?

‘Those questions don’t help, but I ask them anyway. I know I always will. I’ll love you for all the days of my life, and loving you the way that I do makes me feel like I know God. 

‘So I guess it’s true what they say, that grief is next to holiness. Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally. And that grief and love can sit beautifully right beside each other. And finally, thank you for showing me that even though losing you feels dark – it’s also true that with depth comes darkness, like the ocean,’ she wrote. 

‘And just like the depths of the ocean, my love for you – the love of a parent for their child – it just keeps going. So yeah, it may be a little dark down here…. but it’s deep, too.

‘I love you, McCoy. From my deepest to the Highest. From earth to the heavens and back. We miss you something wonderful. Happy 1st Birthday, Baby,’ concluded the actress.

Along with her thoughtful words, Kara included a black-and-white snapshot of McCoy swaddled in a blanket and sleeping in hospital.

Since McCoy’s tragic passing last April, Bosworth has used her Instagram to express her grief and to share photos of her late son with her nearly 200,000 followers.

But on Sunday, the reality star used the platform to announce she is pregnant with her third child.

Kara’s snaps showed daughter Decker, five, crouching next to three Easter baskets – one for her, one for McCoy and one without a name – in front of a garden stake with said: ‘McCoy’s a big brother! Sprouting this spring!’

‘For Christians, for Jews, and for me, this time is a reminder of the death of firstborn sons. Sacrifice. Suffering. Mourning. Grief.

‘Why is this night different than other nights? Last Easter was the worst night of my life. We held our firstborn son in our arms as he took his final breaths. We spent time in the hell that is watching your child die.

‘This Easter is decidedly better. Despite that wretched Easter night, I can’t ignore that this day also represents rebirth. Renewed hope.

‘It is said that the word “Easter” is derived from the goddess Eostre. Eostre, the goddess of fertility, symbolizes the birth of new life and the dawn of spring.

‘And so it is for us. New life, the dawn of something beautiful and restorative. Quite literally rising from the ground.

‘We miss you, Mack-a-doodle. Thank you for sending us this sacred gift. You’re a big brother! Tell Grandpa that I said he was right. He’ll know what I mean.’

The basket that represents her soon-to-be new addition featured a rainbow on it, as she alluded to the child being their ‘rainbow baby,’ — a term for a child born to a family that has previously lost a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth or death during infancy.