Katy Perry has previously opened up about her upcoming album being the product of the two of the saddest years of her life, as she battled clinical depression.
And on Thursday, the 35-year-old pregnant singer reflected on having to take medication for the first time following the poor critical and commercial reception of her fifth studio album in 2017.
‘The older you get, the more real life gets and the harder it gets to hold onto the pain that helped you create. No longer is that pain helping you create songs,’ Perry said during an interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe.
Opening up: Katy Perry has previously opened up about her upcoming album being the product of the two of the saddest years of her life, as she battled clinical depression
‘It’s just tormenting your mind at that point, especially in your 30s, when just life, things start to ache. Your body starts to not function. Your metabolism goes south. All things start to change in your 30s, but there’s so much clarity that comes from it as well,’ she noted, ahead of the release of sixth album Smile next Friday.
The American Idol judge continued: ‘I was getting pretty high off my own supply for a long time, and then it just didn’t work after Witness.’
After breaking up with her now-fiancé and no longer being able to ‘fix’ her ’bouts of depression’ with songwriting, she felt the ‘world didn’t want to hear from’ anymore.
Open book: The 35-year-old pregnant singer reflected on having to take medication for the first time following the poor critical and commercial reception of her fifth studio album in 2017
‘I just couldn’t get out of bed for weeks and became clinically depressed and had to get on medication for the first time in my life,’ she recalled. ‘I was so ashamed of it.’
She added: ‘I was like, ‘I’m Katy Perry. I wrote ‘Firework.’ I’m on medication. This is f***ed up.’
For the the last two-and-a-half years, she been on ‘a psychological, spiritual, emotional journey’ to work on rewiring her ‘neural pathways and that negative thought ticker.’
This includes shutting down the thoughts telling her she’s ‘not really good, ‘isn’t ‘very talented,’ or ‘getting old.’
‘The older you get, the more real life gets and the harder it gets to hold onto the pain that helped you create. No longer is that pain helping you create songs,’ Perry said during an interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe
Hard times: The American Idol judge continued: ‘I was getting pretty high off my own supply for a long time, and then it just didn’t work after Witness’
Later in the interview, she reminded other artists they don’t need to ‘stay in pain’ in order to remain ‘interesting, cool’ or creative.
‘I lied to myself for a really long time,’ she confessed. ‘I was like, ‘I don’t want to face my demons,’ because what if I didn’t have anything to say afterwards.’
She even noted going to therapy scared her because she didn’t ‘feel as intensely.’
‘I lied to myself for a really long time,’ she confessed. ‘I was like, ‘I don’t want to face my demons,’ because what if I didn’t have anything to say afterwards’
Now, Perry is thriving and feels ‘grateful for the pain because it pushed me towards the growth.’
‘I feel not like a thirsty, desperate pop star that’s just trying to like hit a number. I feel like I’ve got more dimension. I have a baby on the way. I have a fiancé. I love my nieces. I love my soon to be stepson. I love life!’ she said, referring to Bloom’s nine-year-old son Flynn.
Perry also made it clear her pregnancy was ‘no mistake’ and how she and her man were conscious about’ having a baby.’
Planned: Perry also pregnancy was ‘no mistake’ and both conscious about’ having a baby’
‘It was no accident and we were ready. The only thing I wasn’t necessarily prepared for is COVID and American revolution at the same time,’ she remarked.
As for their wedding, initially scheduled for this summer in Japan, Perry says their relationship is more about their partnership right now.
‘We had a whole thing planned and that got canceled,’ she said. ‘We’re just looking forward to a healthy arrival at this point in time.’