Victoria Pendleton felt weak asking for help as an Olympian when she contemplated suicide

Victoria Pendleton has admitted her career as an Olympian made her feel weak asking for professional help when she contemplated suicide following the breakdown of her marriage to Scott Gardner.

The cycling star, 39, has credited British Cycling’s psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters with ‘saving’ her from herself in the past – but believed at the time that she should be able to cope on her own, thanks to her sportswoman background.

Speaking of her lowest ebb in 2018, she told The Sun this week: ‘It was an accumulation of so many factors that had got on top of me. Everything in my personal life was out of control.

‘There was this huge sense of loss from losing my sporting career, my marriage had broken down, the hypoxia…

‘Each of those things individually might have been manageable, but together, I didn’t have enough to give. I wasn’t coping and I spiralled down and down and down into a place I didn’t think I could get out of, for about five months.

‘I felt very frustrated because I was like: “I’m an Olympic champion – I should be able to get out of this myself!”‘

Victoria first met Dr Steve, 66, in 2004 when she was on the verge of quitting the sport just months ahead of the Summer Olympics in Athens.  

Since then he has helped her deal a range of mental health issues including self-harm and severe depression.

In an interview last year, Victoria said: ‘When I was at my lowest point, I rang Steve. He talked to me and helped me rationalise and try to remove myself from that mindset. He saved me.’ 

Two years ago, Victoria was plagued by mental health problems following an attempt to climb Mount Everest and the collapse of her marriage, so she turned to Dr Steve for help. 

The cyclist-turned-jockey tried to complete the climb with TV adventurer Ben Fogle but struggled with oxygen deficiency at 21,000ft. 

She was diagnosed with severe depression after arriving home and revealed that she started taking medication.  

Victoria explained how she was taking several tablets but they weren’t helping her to feel herself, so she went ‘cold turkey’. 

She then hit bottom, feeling ‘helpless’ and like she didn’t want to live to ‘see tomorrow’.

The athlete told how she called Steve, who kept her talking until her brother Alex rushed to her home to get rid of the pills she’d been stockpiling so that she didn’t take an overdose.

The psychiatrist then helped Victoria in the following months while she was recovering at her mother’s house in Hertfordshire.

Victoria admitted: ‘I’d fantasise about all kinds of things — whether I’d hang myself, slit my wrists. 

‘It sounds melodramatic but I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, I was minutes away from calling it a day.’ 

Steve has worked with a range of sportsmen including footballer Steven Gerrard who called him ‘the best’.  

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