Roxanne Pallett admits she’s GLAD ‘punch-gate’ happened and compares herself to Meghan Markle

Roxanne Pallett has given her first interview since marrying American firefighter Jason Carrion.

The star, 37, has reflected on the aftermath of the infamous ‘punch-gate’ furor she was involved in during Celebrity Big Brother 2018 – when she wrongfully accused actor Ryan Thomas of maliciously hitting her – and how that led her to meet her now-husband Jason, 33. 

Speaking to Closer magazine, Roxanne admitted she was almost ‘grateful’ for the drama as it led her to America where she met Jason, and explained that she can relate to the way Meghan Markle must feel.

‘I never thought I’d be smiling again,’ she said. ‘I’ve met the love of my life and I feel mentally stronger. I truly believe all the negativity I went through pushed me to this point.

‘In a way, I’m grateful for all that went wrong, even though it was brutal. It was worth all the heartache because now I’m living my best life.’

Despite the meticulously-catalogued fall-out from ‘punch-gate’ – which eventually saw her removed privately from the CBB house, interviewed by host Emma Willis without a live audience present, end her engagement to her then-boyfriend and lock herself away for months – Roxanne has encouraged Jason to research her online so that there are no secrets between them.

‘He knows everything,’ she said. ‘I don’t hide anything from him, I’m so transparent. 

‘I urged him to go on the internet and read for himself, because I joked it would take forever to tell him. There’s no stone unturned – I wanted to be completely honest as I’ve had years of pretending and it was draining.

‘I’ve told him my regrets, my truths, and the weight of being in the public eye for the last 15 years. He wasn’t fazed at all – he’s intelligent and compassionate and his nature is to run towards those in need of help, which is why he’s an incredible firefighter.’

‘For the first time, I’m with a man who sees me and not the perks of my fame. Jason is only interested in me for who I am, not what TV show or magazine I’ve been in

‘I always had one foot out the door with my exes because I never fully trusted their agenda, and I was never the real me. But I love who I am with Jason.’

Roxanne eventually left the UK for the US – where she wasn’t known for the CBB incident.

Referencing the fact that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have recently announced they are quitting England for Canada, Roxanne said: ‘I didn’t feel welcome in England. I was hounded, ridiculed and vilified for over a year. I felt like the country was against me.

‘For a long time, I felt exiled and was being told to disappear by online bullies. In a way, I can understand why Meghan left. I’m so happy she’s had the inner strength to say, “I’m not happy here, let’s make a change.”

‘I’d encourage anyone who is going through a tough time to have faith that things can turn around as they have for me.’

Roxanne says of Jason that they bonded because they shared ‘the same regrets of hiding struggles and forcing smiles’ and that he wasn’t put off by what she had been through.

The pair have both experienced PTSD, come from broken homes and have lost loved ones to cancer.

‘He’s been through a hell of a lot and those experiences bonded us on a deep level we’ve never found in anyone else,’ Roxanne said.

Roxanne claims she knew instantly that he would be ‘the father to my kids’ but that they’re ‘leaving that to fate’.

She uses herself as an example that a person can ‘make a mistake, break, fall from grace, then get yourself back up’, and has admitted to feeling suicidal after summer 2018.

‘It’s taken a long time, and a lot of strength, but I’ve rebooted my life and I think so much more clearly,’ she admitted.

Both Roxanne and Jason have also both quit social media for the time being.

Taking to their Instagram stories on Sunday, they posted twin statements which read: ‘In light of finally finding real happiness and actually now enjoying life rather than pretending to enjoy life.

‘We have both previously done this by faking smiles for cameras and audiences in the past which was draining. We’ve now decided that the online world of validation and vanity has become too negative, hostile and potentially damaging for us to want to tolerate it.

‘So to prioritise our peace of mind and maintain a healthy tone of self-worth we are stepping back in order to move forward. Sometimes you have to eliminate to evolve.

‘We truly wish all our followers the very best and we thank those who were genuinely supportive over the years to us individually and also as a couple.’

Roxanne now focuses on fundraising for Cancer Research and mental health charities and that she doesn’t read any abusive messages she might be sent online.

With regards to these – which would often include death threats – Roxanne said: ‘Before, that would have floored me, but now I’m bulletproof. I used to feel sick or cry but now I feel sorry for those people who still target me. They must be struggling to carry that much hostility.’

Of her time in America, she said: ‘The friends I’ve made in America don’t care about my past or the headlines, they like me for who I am today.’ 

Before leaving social media, the former Emmderdale actress took to Instagram to share a snap of her with the New York fireman, referring to him as her ‘safest place and greatest adventure’.

Taking to Instagram in January, she wrote: ‘There’s an old saying that difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations. Well it was worth every broken step that got me here and I thank God every moment that out of everyone in the whole world, I was led to you.

‘You are my safest place and my greatest adventure. Thank you for choosing me.’

Jason shared a similar sentiment, posting: ‘In life, it’s moments as well as people that impact you. My wife Roxanne impacted me by not only the way I looked at love but looked at myself as a whole.

‘She gave me a reason to become a better version of myself. I truly believe my late mother had a big hand in us finding each other because the parallels in both our lives are undeniable.

‘On our wedding day we celebrated our commitment to one another. A day I’ll truly remember as perfect in every way.’

The pair had to cut their honeymoon short due to Jason’s duties with the NYFD, but managed to enjoy a quick spa break together, having tied the knot in early January.

They became engaged just five months after meeting one another.

For confidential 24/7 support in the UK, call Samaritans on 116 123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, see www.samaritans.org for details.