Her husband Nick Cordero died early last month from complications of COVID-19.
And on Saturday, Amanda Kloots opened up about the process of picking up her late husband’s ashes.
Kloots, 38, called the process ‘beyond surreal and horrible’ in a video shared to her Instagram Stories.
Coming home: Amanda Kloots, 38, updated her followers on the ordeal of bringing her late husband Nick Cordero’s ashes home, which she called ‘beyond surreal and horrible’
She dressed simply for the update with a gray sweatshirt, and she had her blonde locks tied back tightly.
The professional dancer said the weeks since Nick’s death had been ‘really hard’ for her, though she also expressed some optimism about starting over in a new house.
‘I’ve literally felt like I can’t even function. Where I’m just kind of in a fog and I don’t even know what I’m doing or what I’m saying,’ she said. ‘Thank God for my brother and sister-in-law because they’ve rescued me and [her son] Elvis a lot.’
Kloots sounded shaken up from having to get Nick’s ashes from the funeral parlor.
Positive spin: ‘It was beyond surreal and horrible. But they’re in my possession and a good friend of mine said some beautiful advice: look at it as you have him with you now,’ Kloots said
New beginnings: The professional dancer said the weeks since Nick’s death had been ‘really hard’ for her, though she also expressed some optimism about starting over in a new house
‘It was beyond surreal and horrible. But they’re in my possession and a good friend of mine said some beautiful advice: look at it as you have him with you now,’ Kloots said. ‘Which is really a nice way of looking at it, which is true.’
She offered some tips for her fans who might be grieving themselves and suggested they lean on friends and family for support in their time of need.
‘Even people who just drop a text saying, “Thinking of you,” or, “Love you,” or “You’re not alone,” something short and small,’ could be helpful, and she apologized for not responding to everyone who had reached out during her husband’s illness.
Other things she had been doing to raise her spirits included her regular exercise routine, her new tennis hobby and reading Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s Option, which describes the tech leader’s journey to overcoming her grief following her husband’s sudden death at 48.
Reaching out: ‘Even people who just drop a text saying, “Thinking of you,” or, “Love you,” or “You’re not alone,” something short and small,’ could be helpful to recovering, she explained
Uncertain future: Unpacking was a positive force for Amanda, though she broke down after finding a copy of The Grinch and thinking about future Christmases without Nick
But even though the reminder of Nick’s death brought her down, she sounded rejuvenated when she spoke of moving into her new home.
‘I know Nick would have just been through the moon, so it makes me excited to move in and live there and make it our own and make Nick’s presence there,’she explained.
Still, going through all their shared possessions and finding constant reminders of her late husband was difficult.
‘It’s been hard, you know,’ she said, ‘sorting through everything and all of Nick’s stuff and deciding what to keep.’
She was overcome by sadness after she unpacked a copy of Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch, which reminded her of future Christmases without Nick.
‘It’s a double-edged sword of trying to make yourself happy and also being in the constant reminder of the change and everything that’s happening in our lives right now,’ she explained.
The end: Nick died at age 41 on July 5, after being in the ICU at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles for more than 90 days. He was negative for COVID-19 for his final weeks, but the virus’ damage was too much for his body to overcome
Nick died on July 5, after being in the ICU at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles for more than 90 days.
The Broadway star was initially hospitalized for an aggressive case of COVID-19, though he battled subsequent infections and the damage done to his lungs for weeks after he was negative for the coronavirus.
The Bullets Over Broadway actor went into septic shock at one point and had to have his leg amputated, but doctors weren’t able to overcome the extensive damage from his illness.
Amanda focused on more positive things in a sweet Instagram post from later on Sunday featuring Elvis.
The cute tot wore a pair of black and clear plastic sunglasses while wearing a white shirt with blue stars on it.
‘This kid. He’s got his dads swagger,’ she wrote in the caption.
‘He’s got his dads swagger’: Amanda focused on more positive things in a sweet Instagram post from later on Sunday featuring Elvis