CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV: Those royal doubles are bitingly bananas

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV: Those royal doubles are back and they’re bitingly bananas

The Windsors

Rating:

Back In Time For The Corner Shop 

Rating:

As she gives the footmen a night off and parks herself in front of the telly at Buckingham Palace, how the Queen must wish her family were as easy to manage as their comedy doubles in The Windsors (C4).

If only the real reason for the estrangement between William and Harry were toxic gossip spread by their evil stepmother Camilla.

And life would be so much simpler, surely, if Meghan could be coaxed back into the Firm with a promise from Kate to take the messages she writes on bananas a little more seriously in future.

The Windsors returned for a third series, and the writers guessed correctly that the Sussexes would be demanding more time for their woke campaigns

The Windsors returned for a third series, and the writers guessed correctly that the Sussexes would be demanding more time for their woke campaigns

The creators of The Windsors have shown an almost psychic insight into the woes of the Royal Family. 

As the half-hour sitcom returned for a third series, writers George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore guessed correctly that the Sussexes would be demanding more time for their virtue-signalling woke campaigns (‘Speak out against avocados!’) and threatening to decamp to North America.

Spitting Image, the only previous comedy to josh the royals with such biting affection, used to write and record sketches as late as possible, often on the day of transmission.

That guaranteed freshness but made rehearsals and rewrites impossible. The Windsors is more polished, crammed with well-honed gags and hilarious performances, and recorded weeks in advance. That risks making false predictions.

Wisely, the writers didn’t try to second-guess the result of the General Election . . . except that Prince Charles (Harry Enfield) was leading the older royals on a strike for more money from the Civil List.

Charles, Andy and the rest were wearing donkey jackets and waving placards around a brazier — a gag that might have worked better if Jeremy Corbyn were now Prime Minister.

But laugh-out-loud lines made up for that. Newlywed Princess Eugenie (Celeste Dring) had her fluffy slippers up in front of daytime telly, watching Storage Hunters.

Strange THEFT of the week:

Imelda Staunton, wonderful as nosey Mary in Flesh And Blood (ITV), sneaked into next-door’s bathroom and stole Viagra pills. She ate them while watching TV. Why do such a thing? Mary must be a hardened criminal.

Prince Harry (new hire Tom Durant-Pritchard) had ‘never felt better’ after Meghan made him give up his heroic booze intake, and was furiously denying any suggestion of an alcoholic’s delirium tremens.

‘I’m certainly not seeing bats in my peripheral vision,’ he protested. Miriam Margolyes had a cameo as a talking portrait of Queen Victoria, but the real scene-stealer was Haydn Gwynne as Camilla — back early from her holiday on Mustique because she’d run out of fags, and turning up at Frogmore Cottage in a hooded cape like the evil queen from Snow White.

A less fraught family firm was open for business on Back In Time For The Corner Shop (BBC2), as Dave Ardern, his wife Jo and their three children recreated an Edwardian grocer’s in Meersbrook, Sheffield.

These shows have social history down to a fine art, with their blend of British traditions, forgotten recipes and close- knit families willing to learn old skills. Dave struggled to chip flakes off a sugar cone, Ben and Olivia battled to push the delivery cart and everyone was baffled by shillings and pence.

Some of the produce didn’t look so exotically ancient — you will still find jars of pickled eggs in today’s convenience stores.

And though jugs of draught beer might seem primitive, it’s little different from a six-pack of lager . . . except there’s less packaging and the booze probably tastes better.

The night’s star was Aramis the dray horse. If he could bring my weekly delivery to the door, I’d never buy goods from anywhere else.

 

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